why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
