You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
