Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My ass is underappreciated
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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