are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
