im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
