then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
