North Korea, Best Korea!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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