Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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