wanna go halves on a baby?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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