If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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