I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
