So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
