So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
