i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
