In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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