Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
