You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
