just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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