3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
