are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
