yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
