Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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