he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
