Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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