school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
