Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
