You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Damn victory sex feels great
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
