used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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