help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
