med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
