No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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