I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Randomize
