I just made out with a guy for $7.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
