Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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