im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
