respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
