I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
