i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Can I color on your dick again?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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