...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
