who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
