Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
