I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Found the puke drawer
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
