I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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