Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
