If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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