this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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