its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
