Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Did I show you my penis last night?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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