we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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