Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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