If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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