people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
